As his own name implies, CruiseMon harbors a special fondness for the Jamaican dialect. One of the largest islands in the Caribbean, Jamaica has whatever you're looking for: mountains, rivers, waterfalls, rain forests, upscale resorts, small reclusive villas . . .

These days, most ships call in Ocho Rios on the north shore. That may change down the road, though: a new pirate theme park is slated for development in Port Royal, near Kingston, on the other side of the island. Some of the smaller ships call outside Ocho Rios, in Montego Bay to the west, and more rarely, in Port Antonio to the east. It's a shame more ships don't make it to Port Antonio, a quaint, quiet little village best known for its Venice-esque pole-pushed bamboo boat tours down placid river waters. Then again, maybe it's best that more ships don't go to Port Antonio . . . it wouldn't be a quaint town for long, would it?